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 My mum!

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PostSubject: Re: My mum!   Fri Oct 24, 2014 4:11 pm

hope it goes well.
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PostSubject: Re: My mum!   Fri Oct 24, 2014 4:58 pm

Shelley my heart goes out to you hun

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PostSubject: Re: My mum!   Fri Oct 24, 2014 7:30 pm

Got there and she was still on the sofa *phew* .... I really felt sorry for her today, she was totally fed up which was more upsetting than seeing her looking vacant
We got her some new clothes and blankets today which we will take over tomorrow! I'm hoping she tried The new Zimmer frame after we left and fingers crossed it makes her more mobile so she can at least cheer up as much as she can.
I bought a litter tray for the cat and a crate of cat food and biscuits, so at least she is catered for

I was feeling happier earlier but I've not got that horrible feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach again just thinking of her sat at home on her own all day and night!! It's a horrible nightmare

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PostSubject: Re: My mum!   Sat Oct 25, 2014 12:01 pm

Horrible nightmare it is Shell, wish we could help, is she taking her meds correctly as far as you can tell? Pity she wouldn't go to hospital for 24/7 care but what can you do when she refuses
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PostSubject: Re: My mum!   Sun Oct 26, 2014 9:24 pm

Paramedics and doctors have been called out everyday over the week end .... She has possibly days to live she has been told if she doesn't go into hospital she is going to die!!!! She understands this she says but is still adamant she is going nowhere!!!!!
She has necrosis in one of her toes...she had humongous blisters on one of her feet which is leaking, but I think the blister is our fault, we bought some cream and I'm wondering if it has burnt her delicate skin I feel so guilty!!!
She has started to become drowsy and very tired ...I'm hoping this is one of the stages of the disease as one of the next stages is slipping into a coma, a much better way for her to die rather than in pain
She has not eaten in over a week and has drunk very little, she cannot move to get to the toilet either
I had to call the police today, a neighbour rang my aunt to tell her that a woman had been banging on my mums window and door, my mum was shouting at her to go away ... The neighbour waited for her to go and them went and checked on my mum through the window, my mum was on the floor again, my aunt rang me and filled me in, I rang paramedics and the the police, the police couldn't do anything as my mum didn't want them there....so instead me and my aunt paid the woman a visit, politely telling her that I will smash her f**king face in if she goes near my mum again my aunt said pretty much the same!!!

Is it horrible of me to hope and pray that my mum becomes unconscious or falls into a coma very very soon... All I want is for her comfortable in hospital


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PostSubject: Re: My mum!   Mon Oct 27, 2014 4:41 am

So very sorry to hear this Shell, it's very sad to read about your Mom, it must be so hard for you and your Aunt

Why is this other woman bothering your mother? Bloody head case doing that to her.

I hope last night and today is a little more comfortable for her

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PostSubject: Re: My mum!   Mon Oct 27, 2014 6:21 am

It's tragic sange almost suicide like!! But it is very common in these cases for the patient to refuse treatment....everything that is happeming, all the stages she is going through are textbook!! Every morning I wake up with that dread feeling in the pit of my stomach wondering what I'm going to walk into!
It's hard because she doesn't want anyone staying with her, so I completely respect that! She wants to be on her own, we know it's dangerous and there a fall risk but we have to do as she says!!
The social services are here today so please keep everything crossed that they out something in place ASAP ...particularly before next week, tia goes back to school so goodness knows what I will do then

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PostSubject: Re: My mum!   Mon Oct 27, 2014 5:31 pm

Any update Shell?

This must be putting years on you, seeing her go down hill before your eyes and having to respect her wishes. Credit to you for doing what your doing
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PostSubject: Re: My mum!   Mon Oct 27, 2014 7:23 pm

Oh Shell I'm so sorry about your mum I thought she might have made some
Improvement by now. I'm here for you my friend if you want to scream, shout
talk, call me a c**t whatever you want

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PostSubject: Re: My mum!   Mon Oct 27, 2014 8:12 pm

This sounds like a nightmare So sorry for you Shelley

Theres no words anyone can really say to make you feel better only to say we are all here for you
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PostSubject: Re: My mum!   Mon Oct 27, 2014 8:18 pm

Awww hunni , hats off to ya lovely for going along with your mams wishes when its killing you inside
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PostSubject: Re: My mum!   Mon Oct 27, 2014 9:07 pm

awwww shelley hun I dont know what to say but we are all here for you

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PostSubject: Re: My mum!   Tue Oct 28, 2014 5:16 am

Getting worried now, we haven't heard from Shelley xxx
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PostSubject: Re: My mum!   Tue Oct 28, 2014 10:05 am

Yesterday has to be the most traumatic day of my life!! The day I had to get the police out to my mother just to make her go into hospital, even if it meant hand cuffing her and dragging her in which luckily it didn't, she got scared and agreed!!

We got to my mums yesterday morning and found her in a bad way, blood everywhere and she was head lolling and eyes rolling, she was covered in her own mess and and was hypothermic ...another hour and she would have been dead!!!! But still she would not go into hospital ...it took a lot more hard work than that

Finally got her into hospital, she had a few urgent tests run, we were then taken into a family room (me and my aunt) to be told that my mum was going to die and that resuscitation would not be worthwhile!!!! At any moment my mum could have a heart attack, fitting, slip into a coma or cardiac arrest!! She is that ill! Because it's all alcohol related they weren't going to try we rang all the family, including my brother and told them they had to come over!!!

Another doctor took me and my aunt into a family room an hour later to tell us that she believed my mother deserved a chance she had never abused the system before and this was her first treatment for liver failure!!! It would be a long hard slog for my mum and we are very much still at risk from losing her, her body is full of poison eating away at her, her liver is so distended it's fit to burst, her kidneys are also packing up, she has necrosis, edemas and god knows what else going on!! She's severely confused and unable to function from the waist down!!
Should she survive she will be living on a knifes edge for the rest of her life!! It will mean long term care and careful monitoring of her lifestyle!!

All this for the love of a can of lager and not admitting she was ill...so very very sad


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PostSubject: Re: My mum!   Tue Oct 28, 2014 10:10 am

I stayed at the hospital all night with my mum and it's the first time I've ever been away from bella she cried all night and pooed and pissed everywhere she hasn't stopped staring at me since I got home bless her....she's going to rip the house apart later when I leave her

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PostSubject: Re: My mum!   Tue Oct 28, 2014 11:45 am

Thank god you managed to get her into hospital  atleast she is in the right place now and you can rest easy your not going to find her dead on the floor
Its up to her now if she can pull through and modify her lifestyle  You have done all you can
She gets better and changes her ways
Keep us updated
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PostSubject: Re: My mum!   Tue Oct 28, 2014 3:27 pm

So frightening Shell, what a awful experience for you all, so very sad, thank goodness you managed to get her into hospital and they are going to try and help her

Wishing her well and for your worrying to stop
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PostSubject: Re: My mum!   Tue Oct 28, 2014 6:08 pm

Thinking of you Shelley youve had some really tough decisions to make over the past few days. I hope your responds well to treatment

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PostSubject: Re: My mum!   Wed Oct 29, 2014 6:26 am

So sorry to hear about your mum Shell. Must be tough on you.

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PostSubject: Re: My mum!   Wed Oct 29, 2014 12:49 pm

UPDATE -

We spoke to the do for yesterday, he was fab, straight to the point and no beating about the bush and told us in terms we could understand

he told us that they didn't expect my mum to live, even with the treatment they are giving her! When we were first in the hospital we were in a side room.. me, my aunt mum and my friend, someone came and closed the door on us, we thought we were being too loud lol or something was happening..... It was because they expected my mum to die at any second, they were giving us privacy

The doctor has only ever seen two or three people with the same sodium levels as low as my mum ... They died!!! So to say she's very lucky is an understatement!!!

Her fluid tests revealed she had no infection the fluid around her liver.... She will have to have that drained as there are several litres of it (she's larger than a full term pregnant woman)
Surprisingly there is no kidney damage!!!! There is no necrosis in her toes...she does have severe cellulitis and edemas, she even has edemas in her neck....(I think that's what they're called lol) it had travelled up that far ... Her brain scan came back okay, no bleeding and no poisoning you can see on her body where the poison has travelled....it's quite remarkable tbh!!
She has severe urine burns on her backside which is where they think the bleeding came from as well as her back passage .... The infection in her leg is quite bad, it's all bandaged up...hopefully that will cut Her mobility down so she can't escape lol!!
She is still not totally out the woods as her infections are very severe, she's not fully conscious which is probably good because when she comes round she's swearing lol lol she can't open her eyes properly as she's too weak and is spending 99% of the time sleeping *phew*
When the infection is under control and she's not so critical she will see the liver specialist to see what's happening there!
Then she will have to see councellors and the alcohol rehab team... Because next time this happens she will not get any help, the only help she will get is pain relief so her death is not painful!!! She only got the help this time because she has never abused the system before and has never had trouble with her liver preciously!!!

If it wasn't for another doctor over ruling the first one we saw (who told us to get all the family in as my mum would die and resuscitation wasn't an option in her condition) she wouldn't be here...So today I want to find that lovely Asian lady doctor who thought my mum was worth the chance and give her a big thank you ....and to the prick of a doctor who was going to let her die....I shall spit in his face!!!!

My mum will not be going back to her lovely little bungalow...we cannot allow her to live alone again, not with the network of friends she has.... So there are going to be even more tough times and hard decisions ahead

Hopefully when I go in today she will be a little more conscious and not swearing lol

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PostSubject: Re: My mum!   Wed Oct 29, 2014 4:13 pm

a long way to go I know hun but its sounding a lot more positive than a couple of days ago and I pray she will respond well to the treatment. Decisions are very hard to make Ive learned that over the past 18 months but no matter how hard they are to make it has to be done. My outlook is take each day as it comes I dont look too far ahead as to whats in the future and I deal with whatever gets thrown at me when it happens
Sending loads of love hun

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PostSubject: Re: My mum!   Wed Oct 29, 2014 5:07 pm

Your update definately sounds alot more promising
She accepts the help and responds to the treatment
I really feel for you
its going to be so difficult trying to convince her to change her whole lifestyle but hopefully this will be a wake up call and she will work with you
Just take one day at a time
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PostSubject: Re: My mum!   Thu Oct 30, 2014 5:58 am

Thank god for the lovely Doctor, as the girls say, a long way to go but at least your mom is going in the right direction, there is hope now, she must of been suffering badly for awhile and not allowing help, it's going to be a whole lifestyle change for her, it's gonna be very hard, how do you think she will react not being able to go back to her bungalow?

You managed to get her into hospital and have given her a fighting chance now, so we all need to keep everything crossed
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PostSubject: Re: My mum!   Fri Oct 31, 2014 8:21 am

thank you girls ...

My mum was moved to a different ward yesterday...so she's out of HDU but not out of the woods yet, she's still not fully conscious yet! she's had a bran scan to see why this is and there's no damage there, so the next elimination is drugs... They are stopping and swapping about to see if this helps so time will tell on that one! They have found shadowing on her lungs which indicates a severe infection, her leg is still bandaged, I'm hoping her mobility is a very very slow process so at least she can't get out of the house when she's home

Her liver is a different story entirely!!!... She had a liver scan the other day so I managed to pin down a doctor yesterday to ask what the outcome was. Her liver has shrivelled up and is cerrotic (not sure on spelling) and the damage done is irreversible! the doctor was only a trainee so couldn't tell me to what extent (or didn't want to tell me) she said she wasn't sure if there was any surviving liver or if how much, but due to the damage, she would always have a swollen belly that will need draining periodically, I asked what the prognosis is and how long she had to live and she said she couldn't tell me, I would have to book an appointment with my mums consultant! I tried to do that yesterday and they're getting back to me hopefully today, after saying that they may need my mums consent to talk to me

And to top that off...the TV crew are starting filming on mums ward today I don't have my hair done till Tuesday

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PostSubject: Re: My mum!   Fri Oct 31, 2014 3:21 pm

Filming you gonna be on telly

Its all very sad but if your mom is to have a good fighting chance she is in the right place

Its prob gonna be very slow now hun, there is a lot for her body to deal with

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