My mum!

How long can your brother be home for Shell?

Don't forget to take good care of yourself Hun, you also have such a lot to deal with at the moment

I'm not sure yet, he thinks only 3 days compassionate leave

This funeral lark is good money .... Because my mum wants to be buried in a different borough, it's going to cost an additional £1100 .... And she's only 2 mins from the border bloody ridiculous!

I AM SO ANGRY!!!!!! I've just rang the undertakers to arrange to see my mum on Saturday morning and his son has told me that the not even picked her up from the hospital yet and she 'might' be okay to see on Saturday

I'm so so angry that she's been left there on her own on a mortuary slab for so long

She is now at the chapel of rest safe and sound I think the phone call my aunt made may have made a difference

So sorry to hear your mum hasnt been moved to the undertakers yet
Its so upsetting   hopefully they will get her moved today  
Will your brother be going to see your mum    One of my brothers did very briefly but the other one said he couldnt  he didnt go and see my dad either     He just found it too upsetting
I actually felt better spending time with both my mum and dad  
They were both in alot of pain when they died and it wasnt a nice way to remember them    but both looked lovely and peaceful when i last saw them    
I will warn you though it is a shock when you touch them how cold they are  

  Its unbelieveable how expensive funerals are  

If you can don't think of her anyway other than the lovely times you shared with her, it nearly sent me crazy thinking of my brother in the mortuary, I became very angry at the world for a short time.

I feel better knowing that she's now safe but I was very angry and upset thinking that she had been left for a whole week she's never liked strange places, particularly on her own!!!

My brother doesn't want to see her when he last saw her she was sitting up and having a laugh so he wants to remember her like that, I don't want him having the images I've been having anyway the only reason I want to go is so that I can see her looking at peace and dressed nice, it might get the image of her dying out of my head a little!

Im sure seeing your mum nicely made up and looking peaceful will help

Hope so sange

How are you hun

Not too bad thanks Hun I've had photos of my mum enlarged today for her funeral they're lovely

Sounds weird when I talk of her funeral

I hate talking about her in the past tense

That sounds nice for the funeral Shelley

It is horrible referring to loved ones in the past tense

I still cant quite believe my mums gone and she passed away in May

Awww Bren it was only a few months away, it'll be very raw for you still Hun


I don't think you ever truly realise just how heart breaking it is to lose your mum I feel a bit lost, I'm alright in the day, I'm kept busy, it's at night time it's the worst!!

My heart goes out to both of you

I feel a lot better now but i think i was in shock for about 3 months

I know exactly how Shelley must be feeling

Does anyone know when her mums funeral is

Hi girls

My mums funeral was on Wednesday ... It's still quite surreal..I panicked all the way through, I insisted on walking right behind the coffin and keeping a hand on it to make sure they didn't drop it I couldn't settle ... I hated seeing her being lowered into the ground, I still feel so angry that she's died so young!!!!

At the wake I noticed that her late husbands son wasn't about, so I text him and he got all mardy and said he got the impression I didn't want him there.... Of all the days to give me a guilt trip

I rang him later on and he was full of woe is me and me pushing them out etc etc.... I had better things to think about other than massaging his ego ...so that gave me another worry!!!!

We've just spent the weekend clearing my mums bungalow out, which was heart breaking...I had a total melt down yesterday .... It was awful!!!

I've now got to ring my mums 'stepson' to come and get what belongs to him from my mums, that'll be another guilt trip cos I didn't ask him to help ...wouldn't mind but I have to be nice, he's just spent 15 years in prison so he isn't the nicest of people

Roll on 2015

Oh Shelley i really feel for you
Its horrible knowing you will never see your mum again
Dont get guilt tripped by the stepson    f**k him if he didnt have the respect to turn up to the funeral  thats his problem
Emptying your mums house was obviously really hard for you  he would have just made it harder if he had helped  
Will you have the hassle of selling it now or was it rented

It's the hardest thing ever Bren as you know yourself having gone through it recently you just don't believe how hard it is until you go through it yourself

I just can't wait for the day I can think about her without crying and getting all stupid she was never the easiest mother she was annoying, frustrating and made me so angry more often than not but she was loving and the most forgiving person ever and so many things you just don't appreciate until it's too late!
I've been going through her pictures, she was a real beautiful woman, in her younger days she reminds me of a film star....she was amazing really!!!! Makes me so angry.... She could of done so much with her life, she had at least 20 years left in her

Her bungalow is all empty now, I've been over this morning to collect the last few bits, we will go along on Saturday and clean it up then hand the keys back to the housing people! The that's it ...just left with memories

  I was lucky that i emptied my mums house before she passed away when she first went into the nursing home  but even that made me feel terrible
We only had to empty her room after she passed away and most of that was clothes that we donated
You just dont know what to keep and feel guilty getting rid of your mums belongings
Make sure you keep something that meant alot to your mum  
I came away with a box full of stuff i just had to keep   including all the pottery she made while in the home   and ofcourse boxes of photographs
         

I should imagine it's worse clearing a house while they're still alive as they would know you're doing it! I've kept several boxes of stuff, some stuff has gone into my aunts storage, the rest has been skipped and tipped terrible really having to get rid of someone's life belongings! It has to be done though!!!

There's a nosey woman across the road from my mums bungalow who keeps blatantly staring over when were busy, she even stares if you're outside looking at her, she has no shame, she was the same when my mum was poorly....I'm hoping she's there on Saturday, I can't wait to tell her what I think of her and more importantly, if she has a go back, I'll tell her what my mum thought

you never change do you

It such a hard time for you Shell, sadly life throws these things at us and expect us to cope, not easy is it

No sange it's not easy

I was sat earlier thinking to myself, what will I do now....no more 7.30am calls ... No every other Wednesday visits ....no more feeling pissed off cos she's done my head in ....no more nothing it has to get easier or I'll crack up

Can't wait for fatty to stare over at my mums ...

How are you doing hun

I didn't see fatty on Saturday

My stepdads son didn't turn up for his stuff so I left it in the shed ...he ignored all my calls

I'm handing my mums keys in tomorrow even though I've got till the 21st December and will still be charged rent until then but at least it's out the way

Just settling all the bills up and then that's it