liverbird Admin
Number of posts : 15537 Age : 68 Location : posh part of scouseland :) Rep : 31 Points : 20769 Registration date : 2009-01-08
| Subject: Lament of a Lady Who’s Gone to the Dogs Sat Mar 20, 2010 1:19 pm | |
| Lament of a Lady Who’s Gone to the Dogs
by Beryl Allen.
There was a time, there really was, When I was sweet and tender; When Show Dog meant a Disney Star, and bitch was not a gender.
I went to bed at half past ten; I went to church on Sunday; On Saturday I baked the beans and did the wash on Monday.
But then I got a certain pup, And an erstwhile friend said “SHOW”, And so I did and so I do, OH! What I didn’t know.
I used to dress with flair and style, That was the life, don’t knock it. But now each dress from bed to ball must have a good bait pocket.
I used to have a certain air, I wallowed in perfume, I used to smell of Niut D’Amour, Now I smell like Mr. Groom.
My furniture was haute decor, My pets a tank of guppies. Now I’ve furniture unstuffed, And well-adjusted puppies.
Once I spoke in pristine prose, In dulcet tones and frail, But now I’m using language, That would turn a sailor pale.
I was taught to be well groomed no matter where I went. Now all the grooming that I do is in the handler’s tent.
I used to long for furs and jewels And a figure classed as super, Now the thing I yearn for most is a brand new pooper scooper.
I adored a man who murmured verse, through intimate little dinners, But now the words I thrill to hear, Are just three-”Best of Winners”.
I rise at dawn and pack the car, the road ahead a long one. The one I routed on the maps, Invariably the wrong one.
I really love this doggy life, I wouldn’t care to change it. But when I get that Best in Show, I plan to rearrange it.
When my time on earth is done, I’ll go without much nudging. Just give me three weeks closing date, and let me know who’s judging.
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SUMMER Moderator
Number of posts : 6955 Age : 67 Location : Fife Scotland Rep : 17 Points : 12082 Registration date : 2009-01-13
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Sandra Admin
Number of posts : 20040 Age : 61 Location : Ammanford Rep : 22 Points : 22530 Registration date : 2008-12-28
| Subject: Re: Lament of a Lady Who’s Gone to the Dogs Sat Mar 20, 2010 1:30 pm | |
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liverbird Admin
Number of posts : 15537 Age : 68 Location : posh part of scouseland :) Rep : 31 Points : 20769 Registration date : 2009-01-08
| Subject: Re: Lament of a Lady Who’s Gone to the Dogs Sat Mar 20, 2010 11:59 pm | |
| i've never been into showing but i thought it was good any way | |
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| Subject: Re: Lament of a Lady Who’s Gone to the Dogs | |
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