The Four Types of Dog Vomit

Subject: The Four Types of Dog Vomit Thu Sep 10, 2009 4:36 pm

The Four Types of Dog Vomit--author unknown

YELLOW URKA-GURKAS
Dog runs around the house and
hides under furniture while making a prolonged "uuuurka-guuurka,
uuurka-guuurka" noise. (This noise is the only thing guaranteed to wake
up a true dog lover who is hung-over from a post dog show celebration
at 3:30 am.) After mad scrambling to capture the dog and drag him
outside the episode ends with an indelible ten yard line of slimy
yellow froth from living room rug to back door.

BLAP DISEASE
Dog exercises hard and a) eats
large mouthfuls of snow (Winter Blap Disease), or, b) drinks a bucket
of water (Summer Blap Disease). Within
2 minutes of returning inside the
dog spews out large amounts of clear slimy liquid while making a
distinctive 'blap' sound and sharp percussive noise as it hits the
linoleum.

GARKS
Dog suddenly clears his throat with loud and dramatic 'gggaark, gggark,'
noises, generally followed by
prolonged 'iiikssss' and then loud satisfied smacking noises. There is
nothing on the rug. Don't investigate. You don't want to know.

RALFS
Apropos of nothing, the dog
strolls into the dining room and waits 'til the innocent dinner guests
are all watching him. Then with a single deep gut-wrenching 'raaaalfff'
disgorges the entire week's contents of his stomach on the dining room
rug.
VARIATION: then he eats it.

In all the above events, the dog is entirely healthy and, indeed, deeply pleased with himself.

The Four Types of Dog Vomit 893151

Subject: Re: The Four Types of Dog Vomit Thu Sep 10, 2009 4:38 pm

:san42: :san42:

fred did a yellow urka-gurka yesterday